. Beth, you were here; I wasn’t. If you’re comfortable explaining, would you?”I inhaled deeply, held it, then exhaled, and nodded my head.“Dad finally admitted recently that he really loves this ... whatever we want to call it. I don’t know if he’s always been the one to provide constraint or if getting involved with Sandy caused him to be more conservative to counteract Mom’s ... full-steam-ahead approach to things such as ... this. However, he admitted this weekend that he truly loved this life. He vowed that he would try not to be a stick in the mud, but he’s still going to be more conservative with this than Sandy might want.“Mom would not have had any qualms about instigating sex with him or Carol with you in the room. She also would have encouraged him to have sex with any of us, whether you were in the room or not. I think that Dad must have told her that he was not going to do such. Mom knows him very well and knows when to push and when to back off. I suspect that if you’re. You know so much, and yet I feel it is because I can confide in you that I push the limits of morality. To what end does this stop? Are you destined to find your way into the hands of those who would ruin me? Or perhaps I am to go on in this fashion forever, going deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. It really doesn't matter, does it? No matter the outcome, it is clear at this point, that I won't stop. I cant. Three years, Three long years, I have lingered in the mundane. living in the predesigned image of sociaty. It felt like there was a part of me that longed to be released. I think this is why I could never bear the thought of letting go of you. I knew, that despite all my efforts, the house, cars, and wife, that I would never be part of society. Not without my book of dirty little secrets. Oh my dear, dear, Diary, I have such a nice one. If you recall back into my teenage years, I would sneak into my older sisters room and touch her in her sleep. It has always. been a rush..
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